“One of the greatest gifts we can give to each other is selfless listening, hearing someone’s truth without projecting our current emotion or story onto it, literally hearing someone with compassion and acceptance.”
Yung Pueblo
“Ask yourself, ‘Am I really listening, or am I thinking about things to tell them about myself next?’”
Yung Pueblo
There are many ways to give, like giving your time, your presence, a phone call, your thoughtfulness of what someone might need, a compliment, a ride, a smile, or simply asking how someone is and actively listening, so that they feel heard and seen. Do you know how it feels to be seen and heard? To feel respected and honoured for who you are? I feel that when we know how good it feels to be seen, heard, respected and honoured, we can then be that for others. It starts with giving all of that to ourselves. What parts of yourself do you fail to give attention to, in a kind and loving manner? It’s those parts of ourselves which we avoid giving our love and attention to that lead us to the most peace and joy.
“Don’t run away from heavy emotions. Honour the anger. Give pain the space it needs to breathe – this is how we let go.”
Yung Pueblo
Now there is definitely such thing as over-giving. I have experienced this throughout my life. I have given to those hoping they would like me more. I have given out of shame and guilt because I fucked up royally. I have given to fit in. I have given so that I would be enough, because I didn’t feel enough just being me. I have given to those who were not worthy of my time or energy. I have had many relationships where the exchange was not balanced, where I was giving a lot of my time and energy and the other person was taking, taking and taking — and it was never enough. I have given my time and attention to others who dominate conversations and hardly ask me a question and, when they do, they jump back in talking about themselves after only getting a few words in. In that situation, when they do ask me, I don’t feel like sharing or giving because it doesn’t feel authentic. Can you relate to this? The beauty of this is that we get to play both roles of giving and taking and see how it feels. The contrast of imbalance is the the gift of letting us know that something requires attention.
“Love is not, ‘I will give you this to you, if you do this for me.’ Love is, ‘I will give you this so that you may shine.'”
Yung Pueblo
Ultimately, giving is a joyous, selfless act, and if we are all giving, kind, compassionate, respectful and loving to one another, we all win! It’s a win-win situation, and I love win-wins, don’t you?
I like to ask myself this question: How can I be more kind, caring and compassionate today? How can I be the best I can be? How can I be more open to seeing things differently? Is this perception creating peace and joy, or is it creating confusion? I just finished reading this amazing book, The Surrender Experiment, by Michael Alan Singer, author of The Untethered Soul. The biggest part that impacted me was his ability to do the best he could with every situation that he got to experience. He would inquire about just doing his best, regardless of what was presented to him. He also accepted what was happening around him without wanting it to be any different, even though the voices in his head were telling him differently. The awareness of the voices in his head constantly making things right or wrong, good or bad, and adding comments about everything was an endless pit of suffering. This awareness forced him to just be the observer of them, and understand that the voices were not him, because he could hear them. Very potent teachings that you can give yourself.
What brings joy to your heart, mind and soul? Please feel free to share with me as I would love to hear from you. Thank you for reading and I hope these words land in your heart in such a way that brings you peace and joy.
So much love and care to you all!!! Please accept this gift of words and love.
Basse,
Treenz
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