A Life Review + Welcome to 2024

 

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Welcome to 2024 Amazing Peeps!!!

 

Welcome to a little more about me and the space for sacred work. I hope this newsletter finds you refreshed and excited for the amazing times ahead. 

 

A Sharing of My Life Review

Please know that this sharing is about touching others in a way that can relate on the heart level. We all have our stories, and I share with others all the time how important it is to share your story — as you have no idea the impact it can have on another person struggling with very similar things. This opens the door to relating to a deeper level of understanding. This is a story based on my perceptions, beliefs, programs, and feelings of my experiences in life. It has been a bit heavy to write about, as my mind tells me not to go there anymore and what is the point. I am doing it anyway, and thank you for taking the time to read it.   

 

 

Life began with being a daddy’s girl until the age of 7 years old and, then my mom left my dad for another man on the other side of Canada. I was born in Hamilton, Ontario, and then moved to a very small town called Fraser Lake, British Columbia. My father was an abusive drunk who had a heart of gold underneath the alcoholism. He drank himself to death 10 years ago. My mom left one alcoholic for another alcoholic, and she was — and is — an alcoholic on top of having Bipolar Disorder. My stepfather was also very abusive, he beat us with a stick, and we were so scared of him, we would pee in our toybox at night because we would get in trouble for asking to go to the bathroom. This was my first experience of anger and hate. I hated my stepdad so much. My stepdad was beaten as a child, and nearly starved many times. He passed away from lung cancer 15 years ago. His childhood was horrible, which explains why he was the way he was. However, as a child I did not know that. He was just a monster to me.

 

There were many other experiences growing up, like being called stupid, sexual abuse, verbal and physical abuse, watching my stepdad flush baby kittens down the toilet because our cat was not fixed and she kept getting pregnant, watching him neuter some male cats with a razor blade, waking up to fights in the middle of the night after the parents’ drinking and partying, and being taken to my mom’s friends home. (Only to name a few). My mother attempted suicide a few times, and we got to visit her on the psych ward. My parents also quit drinking at some point, which was great, however my sister and I were forced to go to AA meetings to support them and listen to everyone talk about their problems in a smoky room in the basement of a church. These are only a few things of many that I got to experience.  

 

I grew up feeling like there was something wrong with me and that being a kid was horrible. I was never going to have kids, because if this is what it is like, then no thank you. I was determined to not be like my family, and just knew deep down that this was not the way to live life. One of my saviours was witnessing how my friends lived their life and how their parents were. The other was my Grandma Rogers, whom I named my daughter after, Abigail. My Grandma Rogers lived in Northern Ontario, and I didn’t get to see her very often, however when I did, she had a way of making me feel so special.  She had a heart of gold and I felt it like no other. I hung on to those special moments with her, and she passed away when I was in grade 6 at the young age of 65. She was my earth angel. My heart broke and I cried for days and days and days.  

 

I moved away from home right after high school, worked and put myself through college, Dental Hygiene. I was always very responsible and worked to be the best person possible. I met so many amazing people in my dental hygiene career. I travelled with my best friend Denise to Sydney Australia, and worked there for a year as a Dental Hygienist and it was the most amazing experience ever. I fell in love with Australia.  

 

Fast forward — I practiced for 23 years as a Dental Hygienist and retired 6 years ago.  During those years I was able to purchase two homes in Calgary and raise my daughter as a single mom, from the age of 1, with little-to-no financial support. I worked my ASS off. I took a few personal development courses, because when Abi was born, I wanted to be that pillar of strength for her. I took courses called Personal Best and Landmark Education. Before I left her father, I took some counselling to get myself checked out to make sure I was making the best decision and most importantly for Bipolar Disorder. My counsellor told me I do not have Bipolar Disorder, thankfully, as being like my mom was one of my biggest fears.  

 

Something inside of me was always wanting to be better and find what my gift was in life — and at the same time, suffering with low self-esteem, insecurity, anger, guilt, shame, rage. I kept attracting unhealthy men into my life that continued to feed my unworthiness and insecurities. I was married for 2 years (and together for a total of 8 years) and it was the most toxic of all the relationships I have ever been in, and it was a mirror of my relationship with my stepdad and biological father. I got to learn so much about myself, and it brought me to IbogaJourney. So I am extremely grateful beyond words for that experience.  

 

I also got to experience deception and fraud while being a single mom. I blindly trusted my boyfriend at the time and his business partner by getting a truck loan for 40,000. It turned out to be a big scam, and I was stuck with the loan and no vehicle to return. I trusted this person to pay the loan as promised, only to get a notice from my bank saying the loan had not been paid and they were coming after me. So, my credit was destroyed after I went into a credit proposal paying back part of that loan. I ended up selling both of my properties so the bank would not go after the equity. The bank did put a lien on one of them, which was removed after I paid them off.  

 

This was a massive PTSD experience for me. I had nightmares, couldn’t sleep, stressed to the max and ended up on ADHD medication just to function day-to-day in my dental career. Those meds really saved my life, to be honest. I could concentrate, I had energy and they helped me to feel. I am by no means promoting them; however, they played an important role temporarily to help me look after my daughter and work for a brief period. A few years later, I was scammed for $10,000 by a man who was another fraud, claiming to be a chocolatier working with Bernard Callibeau. Then, shortly after that, I got married lol. I was living in a state of fight or flight, survival, and making decisions from that place. I know there are no accidents, and everything happened for me to learn and grow. But wowzers!!! Kaboom….life was really handing it to me.

 

After retiring from Dental Hygiene, which was my security blanket, I jumped into a chiropractic business with my husband and helped him build it for 4 years from the ground up.  We were very successful, and it was a huge learning curve for me to run the front-end of a business compared to being a health practitioner. I loved it though, and it was so much easier than cleaning teeth. After we separated, I continued to work in the practice for a year and build IbogaJourney part-time. It was very challenging, however I put my head down and was dedicated to going all-in with the chiropractic business, as it was my baby.

 

After a year of separation, it became clear it was time to leave, and it was one of the most challenging times in my life. To leave another security blanket of guaranteed income — to the unknown. I walked away from the practice, as it would have become a huge fight to get half of what I worked so hard at. I was not interested in paying lawyers and it all felt like a waste of energy that I could be putting towards IbogaJourney. I just wanted peace, and fighting for half wasn’t worth it.

 

I shifted my perception of the experience to, “I got to build an amazing, successful business with God,” rather than, “I worked my ass off and I am entitled to half.” Feeling the difference in energy was my answer, and I could walk away in peace and gratitude.  Entitlement can be tricky and exhausting. And here I am today, 1.5 years later, still able to pay my bills and live an incredible life of service with my heart. I absolutely love my life and miracles flow in daily.  

 

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, BASSÉ.

 

I bless and thank everyone who was in my story, and who continues to be in my story. You allowed me to have these amazing experiences that assisted me in becoming who I am today. As I mentioned earlier — about how this was not easy to share and it felt heavy — I have no emotion attached to it. It feels so far away. This says a lot about how much work and healing has been done.  

 

Thank you for reading and thank you for sharing your own life review story with others. If you feel called to share about yourself and take that step forward, I would be honored to hear it.  

 

Much love and appreciation to you all,

Treenz

 

Upcoming Retreats

Jan 5,6,7 — Almost Full

Jan 19, 20,21 — Spaces Available

What a great way to start the New Year with a Trio of Medicines

 

 

 

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