Love = Pain

Hello Amazing Peeps, 

I would like to write about the topic of Love = Pain. Since February is Heart Month, I felt compelled to write about Love. Let’s dive into this belief and find out if it is running our life in a subconscious way, through our patterns.

I remember many years ago in an Ayahuasca ceremony, she showed me that Love is Painful. I didn’t really put it all together until recently. I discovered, through my pattern/belief coaching with Ginny, that I have a belief that love is painful — and because of that, I continued to attract situations, patterns and people that confirmed my belief. How mind-blowing when all the pieces come together. Just goes to show how powerful these beliefs can be and how they create your life.  

The first step to healing this belief was accepting the fact that I feel love is painful — and replacing it with a heart quality. The heart qualities are these: trust, openness, love, gratitude, true respect, forgiveness, courage, kindness, patience, compassion, determination, humour, empathy, growth, sincerity, joy, discernment, wonder, confidence, humility, calm, relaxed, natural, integrated, unified and harmonious. 

“Before I could release the weight of my sadness and pain, I first had to honour its existence.”

— Yung Pueblo —

Simply accepting something about life, myself, or someone else is freedom. There is no underlying wish for anything to be any different than what it is. The energy exertion it takes to make something wrong, or wish it to be different than what it is, is exhausting.  

Can you relate to this? Give it a try, and you will feel the difference immediately. As soon as we feel tension towards something, if we check in, there may be some judgement or attempt to make things ‘wrong.’ The key is to really feel the emotion or feeling, and after we feel it, we then can replace it with a heart quality. These sensations and feelings are clues into ourselves — so that we can dive deeper into the truth of who we are with understanding and clarity.   

Do you ever stop to think about why you do the things you do? Why do you believe some of the things you believe? Why do you strongly oppose experiences or people?  Why do you have certain routines, ways of being and relating to the world? Why do you continually feel that everyone else is more important than you? Why do you think that if you put yourself first, it means you are selfish? Why do you take those vitamins and work out every day?  

Do we make these decisions out of fear of getting fat or sick — or do we do it from a place of love? Why do we feel so much fear? Why do we believe someone when they tell us that we are too sensitive or too much? Or too angry? Why do we get triggered when someone tells us that our tone isn’t right when speaking? Why are we afraid to be seen or heard? Why do we not feel safe in the world? 

All these things have a common denominator. When we were born into this world, did we have these fears and beliefs? Nope — all these things were taught, learned and handed down. If we catch ourselves blaming the world outside of ourselves, that is a huge clue that we are living as a victim to life. “I got angry because that person cut me off, or did this or that.” The anger was already in you, and the person was a gift to trigger that emotion for you to look at and experience. Life is happening for us by giving us opportunities to live as authentically as possible.

 “Taking a moment to figure out how you really feel, instead of letting old patterns decide for you, is one of the most authentic things you can do.”

— Yung Pueblo —

I want to share a story about my Mom. My Mom was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and was suicidal when I was in my teens, and she was also addicted to alcohol. She quit drinking for 30 plus years, and then fell off and started drinking again a few years ago. Drinking and taking pharmaceuticals was a bad mix, and she was headed down a slippery slope. 

She just celebrated a year of sobriety, and she called me to share that and make amends, as she was working in the 12-step program with AA. She said, “Treena, I am sorry for being a shitty Mom.” 

I thought it was great, however it didn’t really impact me.  I shared this with my coach, and she said wow, that is huge. I thought to myself, ‘Why didn’t I get that impact or feel how huge that was?’ So I dove into that, and what I discovered was that I didn’t give her any credit. I was still holding on to wanting to hold her accountable in some way. I didn’t acknowledge at that moment how courageous it was for her to share that, and how difficult it was to say that, and do the work she is doing. I sent her a message a few days later and thanked her for being so courageous and how much I appreciated her saying that. She then commented on how courageous it was for me to see that in myself. It takes courage to face our demons, and these little/big nuances that hold us back from authentically loving ourselves and others.   

If you haven’t heard this in a while, I pray you allow these words to penetrate your soul. 

You are perfect! Every cell of your being is absolute perfection. You are creation at its finest. I pray that you shine your light and step into who you truly are. I pray that you love your life every day, and live your passion. I pray you do something every day that you absolutely love. I pray that you love yourself like never before, and know you are worthy of everything your heart desires. What your heart wants, wants you! You are loved more than you know, and you are always supported every step of the way. 

If you could do and be anything you wanted, with no limits, what would that be?  

Much love and appreciation for you all, and thank you for taking the time to read this.

Bassé,

Treena

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